THE BEST T-SHIRT SLOGANS of 1998:
"Filthy Stinking Rich -- Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"
"Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair"
"I Used Up All My Sick Days So I Called In Dead"
"Be Nice to Your Children -- They'll Pick Your Nursing Home"
"Husbands Should Come With Instructions"
"Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time"
"I Want It All and I Want It Delivered"
"Life Is Hard; Then You Nap"
"Bigamy Is Having One Wife Too Many. Monogamy Is the Same"
"Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-law on a Milk Carton"
"Just Hand Over the Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt"
"60-Year-Old One Owner Needs Parts Make Offer"
"I Was Once a Millionaire But My Mom Gave Away My Baseball Cards"
"If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees"
"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" - (seen on an 8 year old)
"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
"My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink"
"If You Remember the '60s, You Weren't Really There"
"Procrastinate Now"
"Rehab Is for Quitters"
"Re-Elect Nobody"
"Waiting for the Perfect Man" (Printed across a drawing of a skeleton).
"My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
"I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That?"
"When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Use Duct Tape"
"Young at Heart -- Slightly Older in Other Places"
"The Boat Sank. Get Over It" (Over a sketch of the Titanic)
"Party -- My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt)
"Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since I Was 15"