Joan Rivers
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Benny Hill
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
Mark Twain
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.
Jerry Seinfield
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.
Jeff Foxworthy
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Voltaire
The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
Willard Scott
Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.
Hugh Leonard
There is only one immutable law in life - in a gentleman's toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.
Robert Bloch
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
Monday, November 16, 2009
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1 comment:
Hahaha! Funny stuff! Nice blog btw, perhaps you would enjoy mine. Here's the link if you want to check it out: http://theenlightenmentbucket.blogspot.com/
Keep up the good work!
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